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the soiled dove of Miss VB

Today I've been watching the dvd my boyfriend got me yesterday to…

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acrostic postulated whore
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Mia TTT-ejo

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Today I've been watching the dvd my boyfriend got me yesterday to 'celebrate' christmas, The occult history of the third reich. The amount of footage is overwhelming, three hours or more. This is the first time I've seen a documentary or any film on the Nazis which directly links or 'credits' Madam Blavatsky (a woman whose work I've studied since I was about 12) to the connection between the Swastika and the dogma of the Aryan race, the 5th race on the planet according to her. Aside from the book Vril power. They talk about her Secret Doctrine through about 1/2 the movie. Not one mention of Erik Hanussan though. strange. It's confusing to me though why Satanists claim the Nazis doctrine as their own when Satanists generally prefer chaos, in every vein of it. And fascism is the ultimate in organization. The negation of ones identity seems to me a christian ideal (yet fascist), while the complete regard and worship of perfect physicality and ones individual pride is also a satanic virtue or ideal (yet democratic). So many contradictions. Am I just stupid? There are as many flaws in Satanism as Christianity and to me they are one in the same. One validates the other by acknowledging and then renouncing it. I wondered what would this 'perfect Aryan' world be like if it had won. Note to self: rent the Fatherland. Haha.

I've been obsessing again about Jayne Mansfield. I really am superstitious about birthdays landing on another's death. My boyfriend was born on the day of Hendrix's death and my bday lands of the day of Mansfield's death. Not the year mind you, I'm not that old. However all we do is sit around and watch movies, usually by something weird video (my boyfriend met the guy who owns something weird while on tour, one of the band members he played with brought his father which happened to own the company! How exciting is that..freebies and a full history of their merchandise). We've been watching K Gordon Murray movies, which after watching puss n boots last night I still feel really creepy..though it's amazing psychedelic kiddy fun. Aside from the shrill voices.

I've been in such poor health lately I've missed so many fun things this christmas. We missed seeing the John Waters xxxmas at the fillmore, which after I worked at the warfield since '90 I should have got free tickets to but not now, thanks clearchannel. So we watched the collection of xmas shorts they used when he had his xxxmas at the castro at home. We didn't really do much this year. I also missed the RAN holiday party (Rainforest Action Network), a company that my boyfriend has been assistant management at for years..which I find very impressive, he also works with a very exciting political activist street theatre group. He was featured in Fortune magazine a few years ago with an article on RAN. It makes me so proud how hard he works with his bands and for all the great causes..sigh.

Oh and we're getting married next week. It's probably going to be onstage on new year's eve.
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