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acrostic postulated whore
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la 17-a de oktobro 2006

Hotel Hopscotch and the BBC

Our film Hotel Hopscotch has now played four film festivals, one of which was in SOHO and may be aired on tele via the BBC soon. We also received an award at the Lucid Underground Film Festival. As if it wasn't exciting enough to have my autobiographical work shown in my hometown at the SF DocFest last year, now it's showing at the Bend Festival where the host will be John Waters! I'm beyond myself with this one. And the winners will receive a huge cash award for further funding of its distribution, up to 25,000 dollars. I don't know how much the shorts are up for but anything that can help with the completion of the full length feature my short will be a part of; 'Portraits From the Fringes' will be greatly appreciated. Geoff deserves the funding for all the hard work he's done. During the time of the Bend Festival in Oregon it will be showing in Austin where Geoff is expected to appear. Please see his website at
http://www.punkerotic.com/main.php. The others that will be contributing are Lydia Lunch and Iris Berry along with Geoff himself.

Suspiria trading cards!


Even though these are fake, just print and mount them yourself!

la 30-a de aprilo 2006

(neniu temo)

Holy Crap!! There's an option on here where you can default to ESPERANTO!!?? I had no idea. This must be new. You see after finally watching Incubus a while back I fell in love with the language. You really should watch this film. It's got a great history, it's one of the 'cursed films'. They just got the footage released from the French Film Archives in the last few years. It premiered at the SF film festival in 1966 and his guests were Sharon Tate and Roman Polanski. This was the year Anton LaVey attended with Jayne Mansfield, when he gave her the pink baphomet necklace and she wore it for the press.

Just so you know, I refuse to participate in myspace and be reduced to whoring myself for instant gratification and as a marketing research tool. Myspace and even tribe is insincere. I resent becoming a charicature of myself if I were to remain on myspace and it seems it's a media unto itself. At least here, I can keep all my friends unlisted and screen comments left for me. I prefer to remain private and not acquire the new mandated National Identification Program that is MySpace. If you're on there, get off and write on here, don't be a statistical prostitute.

(neniu temo)

As much as I dislike online living, I decided to post an update on what's going on in my life. I get really furious when I read other girls ljs (a habit out of morbid curiosity) every few months and find that absolute morons are posting dozens of pics and making crappy artwork, where they're pandered to and barraged with compliments when I see nothing that warrants them but the fact they're cute and young. Mainly, the most fun I get is cruising Goth girl ljs. They're especially clueless. Yet they're sooo cool! Like OMG!! haha. I'm mean, but nobody's reading anyways nor do they care. And as if things aren't bad enough, their friends are just now realizing myspace is owned by FOX Entertainment? This happened over a year ago. Fucking clueless morons. I've been very lucky to be successful at my art and writing when in reality, I'm a high school drop out. This is proof of my talent, this also gives me room to talk shit about those who have had the privilege of schooling and still can't make art or write like me. I'd say five books in City Lights, my own column in a statewide distributed paper, two books and a novel being reviewed for publishing at major companies and an award winning piece written from my life's story in a film is pretty damn amazing. I can barely spell, Vale once told me I was an autodidact and I have to say I agree. Richard Metzger of disinfo is also someone who's succeeded immensely without schooling. He's a high school drop out, and he was kind enough to help with my interview book. He gave me advice, for writing and legal, he helped me with a few connections as well. A big thanks to him.

Anyways, I've started up an ebay business, that's doing well. Making Bakelite jewelry out of old parts and gambling pieces. I've also started selling my curio cabinets as well. I just sold the one with the antique medicines to a doctor in the bay area who displays it in his private practice office. What an honor.

Oh I'm also teaching myself to speak Esperanto. I plan to only speak and write in it. If Shatner can do it, so can I! It's a really beautiful tongue and the concept behing the language is admirable. It's so sad this brilliant man's only three children died in the holocaust. The genius of this man's dna, never to walk the earth again. So sad.

I just finished my latest article for the Herald called the state of McArt. I'm going to paste it here as it's already been printed and will be out in a week. I'd love to hear your feedback. It was a better (I was extra harsh and critical using specific people as prime examples, E and friends be thankful there was a lack of space) article before I had to trim it down.

The film Geoff Cordner made with me is showing at the SF Doc Indie Fest in two weeks. How ironic is it that a film on my life as a homeless youth living in hotels would get shown on MOTHER'S DAY? It's showing with Cracked but Not Broken and You can't get there from here. If you can't go to see it, please vote for it. I'm really proud and just want to thank Geoff again..

For the first time, my boyfriend's band completely forgot they had a show, or maybe there was communication issues within the band but they were scheduled to play at the opening night festivities for the SF Film Festival. They played the last one a few months ago, so they do have some credibility. The singer and one other member are off at Coachella, oops. You should be there for their Phenomenauts/Epoxies show next time they're scheduled to play. Their shows together are always amazing!

Herald Article out next week! Here it is:

Lately, with the explosion of online communities and oversaturated spaces for the presentation of art it's as if the city is on artistic overkill. Since the dotcom tragedy left the creatively inclined smothered, anxiety ridden and dwelling on unfulfilled opportunities, the 'art world' seems to have swung into the extreme reverse. The dotcom influx of the 90s forced musicians out of rehearsal spaces and artists out of their studios, it nearly killed the ingenious free spirit that makes this city what it is. The aftermath of this is an overabundance of so called 'artists'. Where as those with no talent or those without a real desire to be one, that is until they saw an ad for an art academy enrollment, promising you could be 'cool' or hip once you’ve allied forces with those who already are artistically inclined, could find success. In the city’s efforts to encourage and rekindle the arts, it's created a monster. This overwhelming amount of artists and musicians has absolutely diminished if not eradicated the very core of self expression they say the dot commoners almost succeeded at. The value of self idiom and manifestations are so reprehensibly empty they've thrown subjectivity out the window. There now lives here, a quantity, not quality ethos.

I see a struggle, a competition, a far reaching of such desperate measure to legitimize one’s self as an established artist, it becomes the antithesis of its original intent. There is no individuality left when one is basing their work on subsequent matter of the other. I see this work displayed in the most detrimental of environments, to the point of absurdity, an awkward irony, either in corporate or the most deprived ramshackled businesses. From inside the office to the tacoria, dentist's offices, to check cashing centers, aged diners, nail salons and even university bathrooms, you'll find this 'art'. Now I'm a believer in the more art the better, but look where it's coming from. Everybody and anybody is an artist or musician now. It's as simple as being publicly accessible. These everybody and anybodies are content to show anywhere as long as they can list their 'show' in their portfolio's resume to somehow legitimize their work. "If people see or hear it, it must have value."

It's painfully obvious it's not about talent anymore, in the one place an individual could take refuge, in art and music. It's about effortless attempts of self validation through promotion. This is now branching out though, into a national phenomena. Thanks to media and reality shows like American Idol, easy to use computer graphics, widely available electronics equipment that replicates instruments that could fool even the most trained of ears and build your own webpage online communities like myspace, we're nothing more than the time we spend typing or what our image invokes. Notoriety has never been more desirable or promising. Myspace has so many bands, that myspace has its own record label. This type of 123, simple step by step self promotion is now an enclave that's turned the most obscure, experimental and marginal of art and music into a mass marketed occurrence. It's created a supply without a demand, the intent is off balance. And in their mass appeal they're now a product of mass consumption, most without even realizing it, now commodities for commercial use thereby becoming mainstream and part of popular culture. The 'underground', the alternative is now obsolete. It just doesn't exist anymore.

These attempts at becoming successful as an 'artist' or musician are becoming lost in a sea of clones and copycats, all trying to one up each other, building or parasiting off each other in hopes of being bigger, better products. In doing this, the artist loses all original meaning and value. The intent of self is gone. I recently read The Conquest of Cool by Thomas Frank, which completely reaffirms my theories. It seems there's a 30 year incubation before innovation becomes the sustenance of the populace. The once true artist, the unknown, the reluctant genius, becomes acknowledged, in the now, as art, and hip. This mainstreaming of what was once an exclusive novel endowment has disregarded the initial basis or what art is, has been reduced to nothing more than fashionable posturing. Look at the punk, new wave and death rock scenes of the late 70s and 80s. I would never have thought I'd see this satirical anti-culture being embraced by the very essence of its revolt resulting in nothing more than novelty theme music or style for consumerism in today's youth. The media will tell you belonging to various subcultures can be bought in the 'rebel as hip', or oxymoronic 'be different, think different' marketing schemes. The current fashion and music panache or trends have stripped down and melded what was meaningful in my youth to an amalgamation of nothing.

All of it has no distinction; preppy, goth, new wave, hip hop, punk, mod, emo, even gasta and thug 'life' is all combined into one. How can one take a style or make music that's defiant when it contains every element of all other genus. You have to define what it is you're rebelling against before you can 'rebel'. The self conscious art that is a result of this is all so predictable now, from endless self portraits (as if the thousands of photos we see of them on myspace, friendster and lj aren’t enough), to the almost regimental hordes of wanna be Weegees, thanks to cell phones and digital cameras nothing is missed! A never ending production of egocentric, autobiographical zines and comix, to the occultniks continuing to barrage society with their attempts at subversion in cliques claiming to be the ‘private elite’ (which again isn’t private nor elite, especially when you see it all over lj, tribe.net) with lesser known context via autonomous art. Though to utilize hallucinogens excessively to achieve this just means one thing, Westerners in general don't do autonomous nor tribal well.

There also results another affront, I feel my generation was cheated, nothing we did was even remotely publicly acknowledged because we just didn’t communicate via internet or on a mass scale in any forum, we didn’t feel we needed to. If it was worthy of press or notice, it would, without effort on our part. Back then, you were left to word of mouth, ways of myth and legend. It seems everything from my generation was a genuine movement as we created it with no role models and we risked real physical danger to live it. Now even personal expression, which as I said before, is nothing but fashionable posturing, I see kids today wearing the hair and clothes we wore back in the 70s or 80s as punk or death rock, carelessly shopping for this very style in everywhere from Macys to Ross, saying how ‘cute’ this clothing is while talking of current night club gossip, when that look years ago would have warranted being spat on, verbal harassment by on lookers, beatings, questionings by the police or worse. We suffered for our art and music, especially for the message. Somehow this generation missed the message completely and mimics what we created, emulates it and exists in it superficially. It makes me frustrated that the youth of today takes what we built, our valid ideas and stakes claim on them, uses it for themselves without giving any credit to us and is creating a profit from it too. It's commercializing what we were. Welcome to the world of McArt and McCool. Is it just me or does everyone over the age of 30 see those art academy and graphic design school ads and think of the old Barbizon ads too? "You can be a model, even an artist, or just LOOK like one!"

la 26-a de decembro 2005

(neniu temo)

Today I've been watching the dvd my boyfriend got me yesterday to 'celebrate' christmas, The occult history of the third reich. The amount of footage is overwhelming, three hours or more. This is the first time I've seen a documentary or any film on the Nazis which directly links or 'credits' Madam Blavatsky (a woman whose work I've studied since I was about 12) to the connection between the Swastika and the dogma of the Aryan race, the 5th race on the planet according to her. Aside from the book Vril power. They talk about her Secret Doctrine through about 1/2 the movie. Not one mention of Erik Hanussan though. strange. It's confusing to me though why Satanists claim the Nazis doctrine as their own when Satanists generally prefer chaos, in every vein of it. And fascism is the ultimate in organization. The negation of ones identity seems to me a christian ideal (yet fascist), while the complete regard and worship of perfect physicality and ones individual pride is also a satanic virtue or ideal (yet democratic). So many contradictions. Am I just stupid? There are as many flaws in Satanism as Christianity and to me they are one in the same. One validates the other by acknowledging and then renouncing it. I wondered what would this 'perfect Aryan' world be like if it had won. Note to self: rent the Fatherland. Haha.

I've been obsessing again about Jayne Mansfield. I really am superstitious about birthdays landing on another's death. My boyfriend was born on the day of Hendrix's death and my bday lands of the day of Mansfield's death. Not the year mind you, I'm not that old. However all we do is sit around and watch movies, usually by something weird video (my boyfriend met the guy who owns something weird while on tour, one of the band members he played with brought his father which happened to own the company! How exciting is that..freebies and a full history of their merchandise). We've been watching K Gordon Murray movies, which after watching puss n boots last night I still feel really creepy..though it's amazing psychedelic kiddy fun. Aside from the shrill voices.

I've been in such poor health lately I've missed so many fun things this christmas. We missed seeing the John Waters xxxmas at the fillmore, which after I worked at the warfield since '90 I should have got free tickets to but not now, thanks clearchannel. So we watched the collection of xmas shorts they used when he had his xxxmas at the castro at home. We didn't really do much this year. I also missed the RAN holiday party (Rainforest Action Network), a company that my boyfriend has been assistant management at for years..which I find very impressive, he also works with a very exciting political activist street theatre group. He was featured in Fortune magazine a few years ago with an article on RAN. It makes me so proud how hard he works with his bands and for all the great causes..sigh.

Oh and we're getting married next week. It's probably going to be onstage on new year's eve.

la 4-a de majo 2005

(neniu temo)

After a two fucking hour hassle at the post office across town, I now have my package from Irina Ionesco herself. I can't even express what an honor it was to have some of her rare photos sent, a few programs from her shows and her biography autographed with a beautiful letter to me as well. However, her book is all in French..everything is and sadly I really can't read it. I understand some but not enough. Oh and I've got my translator..a woman associate who bought the Limoges for the antique shop I worked in while residing in her native France six months of each year. I will be returning back to work at the antique shop in Sept..and I couldn't be more happy.

la 17-a de aprilo 2005

(neniu temo)

Wow, I feel so honored lately. I have so many projects going on that I couldn't be more excited about..this one is near completion..and I reposted a bit from his journal about it.

please excuse me Geoff but I felt prompted to repost this as I really was touched..

He wrote this in regards to the dvd he's working on using some of the narrative from my short stories based on diary entries. The others contributing to this project are Lydia Lunch and Iris Berry!

To watch it go here

He wrote this in his journal..and it nearly brought me to tears...aww damn.

"After spending the past few years just shooting erotica, and getting so bored with everyone discussing beauty and alternative beauty and fetish beauty and just about every kind of physical beauty and anti-beauty and so on and so forth, ad nauseum (with an emphasis on the nauseum) I realized what should've been patently obvious in the first place--which is that for me this obsession with physical beauty totally misses the point of life...somehow, there's way more beauty in a poignant story like this of zora's than there is in all the shiny latex encased asses on the planet combined...now I finally allow myself to disengage from the vapid dialogue of physical beauty and whether or not "erotica is about love whereas porn is about sex" (like anybody truly gives a rat's ass) and present what I find beautiful, and what little bits of real life keep me spellbound when I can slow myself down enough to look at them."

The second will hopefully be a short story for the new amazing book series Instant City which is about people's memories of ..San Francsico.

Hey Gene, stop drinking that cheap wine..so you can get Motor City Sex and Guts running..I have plenty to contribute.

Also Sid's making that movie about the SF Death rock/punk era of the 70s/80s which he's asked me to be in..hopefully filming will start this summer.

and on the lighter side of things..I believe I may start go go dancing for one of my favorite 'spooky' gothabilly bands.. Oh baby..

(neniu temo)

I'm in the process of writing up an interview with my boyfriend for Maila Nurmi, thanks to Sid Terror! If any of you have questions you'd like me to include please do so now..as it's happening soon!!

Oh and joy of Joys! I'm doing an interview with of all people Christina Augello star of The Last of the red hot Dadas...and a large portion of the interview will be discussing the Baroness Elsa Von Freytag-Loringhoven of course!

(neniu temo)

My interview with Pam Tent (Sweet Pam) of the Cockettes which will be in my book the Lux Artillery is now going to be printed in the SF Herald as well. Look for it in the July/August issue. I'm arranging to have her on the cover too.
I'm so excited about this as Mr Judd himself just sent me my own copy of the Cockettes documentary!

la 13-a de aprilo 2005

(neniu temo)

generally speaking: Talk talk talk, memory, MEMORY, meme, parrot, mirror, start finish, back and forth, revise, you can repeat the discoveries of others till you expire..but CAN you formulate your OWN opinion? This is intellect. Knowledge means nothing regardless of understanding..unless you can APPLY it. Give me something tangible.

Ape shall not kill Ape! Oh but they will..you're killing me with bordom.
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